Confidence

My first hero growing up was Julie Andrews. Keep in mind that the most formative movies of my early childhood were Mary Poppins (1964) and Sound of Music (1965). I really do not think they make movies like those anymore...

Any Julie-phile will immediately know which song to start humming from this photo... here are some of the lyrics:


I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

Oh Julie, how I love thee... but these words are not true. That lovely confidence of childhood and middle school years falls apart in high school and the insecurity that remains carries on in some form for the rest of our lives, at least for most of us.

I was reminded of this in so many ways this past week:

• I met with a youth group last weekend who came up to Santa Barbara for a retreat, and the seniors were open in their profound fears of the future as they anguished over college decisions and social pressures;
• I met with a class at Westmont who traveled last semester through Turkey and the Middle East. We talked over the complicated idea of what it means to communicate the gospel cross culturally, understanding the language and culture of those to whom we seek to serve. One student said, "I don't like this. It's too hard." We all agreed it's far easier to keep things black and white, rather than in nuances and shades of gray, considering each context on its own;
• I met with my Westmont internships class, and we talked this week over how to persevere in ministry over the long-term. We agreed that we so badly want others to love us in order to make us feel needed. I talked over the dangers of that, and taught from 1 John 4 -- how loving others with agape love is utterly different from the human love we know naturally;
• I went to a high school event last night and felt the insecurities and drama of adolescence wash over me as I saw them all talking and texting and flirting and trying to fit in...

But I am not without hope. The older I get, the more I see how impossible it is to live life under my own power. Rather, I am motivated all the more to teach and proclaim the gospel because it is good news: If we lean in to Christ, we gain something new: a boldness and courage that is not human. This morning I am reminded of that gift in Hebrews 10:

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus... (vs. 19)

The word "since" implies a response, and the writer of Hebrews does not disappoint:

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings (vs. 22)

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (vs. 23)

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (vs. 24-25)

Then we can go dancing down the road like Julie does, drawing near and holding unswervingly and spurring one another one, if we live out of the confidence that only Christ can give.

But as I kept reading, I was sobered by this:

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 

Many of my conversations this week were with young people. I love their idealism, energy and earnest questions. They help to keep me from becoming cynical. But I cannot deny that my own experiences of suffering and disappointment have tempted me to "throw away my confidence" at times. Hebrews 10, with its use of "confidence" in two very different ways in one section, reminds me that regardless of whether I have the energy to dance down the road or only have the strength to sit in sadness and grief, that I can still have confidence. How? As one commentator puts it, a confidence from God helps us to "trust in God, certainty of salvation, the conquest of the consciousness of sin, sanction and power to pray and expectation of the future."

So I do not have confidence in confidence alone, and certainly not in myself. But I rejoice that I can still be bold, and take risks, through Him... In fact, it is crucial that I do so, in order to feel the power of his presence in my life, and to last until the end. Press on with such confidence.

Reading Is Fundamental

I grew up with this motto ringing in my ears at school and on TV (when I wasn't watching Gilligan's Island or Schoolhouse Rock.) As the daughter of a junior high English teacher mom and a dad who majored in political science and philosophy, my home was filled with books and a lot of public television. One summer we moved, and rather than try to make friends in my neighborhood, I hunkered down in my room and read an entire set of children's encyclopedia. (Feel free to roll your eyes.)

Nevertheless, I have never shaken the reading bug. And I have confessed to more than one friend that I believe I enjoy owning books as much as reading them... But my good friends Jason and Nancy convinced me this spring to give in and buy a Kindle. While I am certainly not weaned of books entirely, I have found it to be pretty darn great to know that by tucking one slim little device in my bag that I have a wealth of options at my fingertips..

This week only hardened my resolve to persevere in my reading addiction as I read this article from Harvard Business Review (HBR), whose title had me at hello: For Those Who Want to Lead, Read. There is so much great material in its two brief pages, take a few minutes and read it yourself. But these words break my heart:

The National Endowment for the Arts (PDF) has found that "[r]eading has declined among every group of adult Americans," and for the first time in American history, "less than half of the U.S. adult American population is reading literature."

Combine that with this next section:

This is terrible for leadership, where my experience suggests those trends are even more pronounced. Business people seem to be reading less — particularly material unrelated to business. But deep, broad reading habits are often a defining characteristic of our greatest leaders and can catalyze insight, innovation, empathy, and personal effectiveness.

In this "third half" of my career I am focusing my energies more and more on leadership development. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity through the Free Methodist Church in Southern CA to focus on the investment and growth of young leaders through our summer interns program; even more I am stoked about the advent of the Center for Transformational Leadership, which I am helping to direct. These, along with some teaching and speaking opportunities starting this fall, make me want to pinch myself -- I must be dreaming!

The HBR article states some obvious but significant benefits from regular reading and how it broadens the capacity for leadership: improved intelligence, innovation, insight, increased vocabulary. And I heartily agree that it is also a fantastic stress-reducer, and love hearing that it is an apparent way to fend off Alzheimer's! Who knew?

So I am frequently asking others what they are reading. I don't know about you, but I always have a few books going at once. Here's my latest list:

• The Norton Anthology of Poetry. I mentioned this one earlier in the summer. Slow and steady wins the race here, I pray. It started with Caedmon's Hymn from the 7th century, and I've progressed to the 16th century. That's something, right? More importantly, I am really enjoying it. Poetry is not something to be rushed.
• A Future for the Latino Church: Models for Multilingual, Multigenerational Congregations by Daniel Rodriguez. I just finished this this week. I cannot recommend this book enough. It expresses the reality of church ministry in Southern California. Our denomination has eight languages being used in our churches, so I'm looking for any insights I can gain in what it means to minister and develop leaders interculturally.
• Ministry in the Image of God: The Trinitarian Shape of Christian Service by Stephen Seamands. This was recommended to me by Telford Work, chair of the Religious Studies department at Westmont College. I'm going to use it in a class I'm teaching on internships for the department this fall. It is outstanding, practical, readable and theologically solid.
• The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay. This one has been recommended to me by two different people. I'm just getting ready to start it. I do not know if it's a function of my age or calling, but as my vision for leadership development sharpens I find I am moving from adolescents to college students and young adults. I have had the "now what?" conversation with recent college graduates a few hundred times, so I am really looking forward to hearing from someone else on this subject.
• The Best Short Stories of Fyodor Dostoevsky. To relax, I opt for narrative non-fiction over fiction, but I found this book neglected in my room the other day and decided I need to give it a whirl. How can I go wrong with Dostoevsky??

As I said, I love to hear what others are reading and why... Comments?

Grand Teton reading #4

Though I risk mockery from those near and dear to me, I will admit to one more thing I'm reading during this vacation... my newest "addiction" = Harvard Business Review. My good friend and colleague Glen introduced this magazine to me last year. I was skeptical, but not after reading only one issue (which took me at least two months and required more than one google search to figure out what certain terms meant).

Perhaps that sounds horribly dull and oh-so-not-beach-reading material for a vacation, but the articles (most of them, anyway) send my mind in a million directions, all creative and stimulating. Sure, most of them make think about work... but let's not forget, I have the deep privilege of loving what I do! (And I thank the Lord every day for that.)

Believe it or not, articles in "HBR" often give me 1-2 page resources for the college interns I'm training this summer, or material for a church with whom I'm consulting, or seeds for an article idea. And yes, once in awhile there is an article that flies completely over my head with its multiple business-school acronyms or corporate concepts. Perhaps I should mention that other than a part-time job as a bank teller in high school and my first job out of school as a technical writer, my entire employment career has been in non-profits.


No doubt that is part of HBR's appeal for me. It stretches my mind in ways that all of my beloved theological and literary books do not. It constantly reminds me that there is a huge world out there that needs the truth of the kingdom. And it shows me, more than you would expect, that there are many in the for-profit sector who still look to make a true difference in the world (I submit this article from today's website posts as evidence.)

I'm three issues behind in my reading, because I refuse to rush through them. So I have been reading the April 2012 issue, and given where I am, among 10,000' peaks, I was more than interested in this article in particular: Wilderness Leadership -- On the Job (here's the nubbin of the article at least... you have to subscribe to the get full one!). It describes some hoity-toity leadership development course put on by NOLS (the National Outdoor Leadership School), that sounds one part amazing and one part pee-in-your-pants challenging!

This article addressed the subject most dear to my heart these days, that of leadership development. And it concluded with this especially poignant section:

Many scholars argue that the fast-paced, high-tech world of work wreaks havoc on leaders' ability to engage in the careful strategic thinking required of them. We agree; executives in particular (HELLO -- anyone!!) need to occasionally abandon their modern-day trappings and recharge. This means disconnecting not just from laptops and smartphones but also from devices that purportedly promote relaxation, such as iPads and TVs. We believe that getting out into nature achieves what the environmental psychologists Rachel and Stephen Kaplan call "attention restoration." Being in the outdoors effectively resets our brains, allowing us to analyze problems, map strategies, and dream big.

Today was a perfect example of that for me. Unlike the other days, my friend and I decided to hike separately. She opted for a much more strenuous hike of nearly 13 miles with a vertical climb of 2,500', while I chose to take the rolling hike around Jenny Lake, which is about 8 miles long. We had opted to turn off the data on our smartphones for the trip (and enjoyed the email break immensely) but today I also decided to not listen to anything. I just hiked briskly for a bit over two hours and had an amazing time. I saw marmots, ducks, geese, an elk, a fox, and a bear cub. I heard endless birdsong. I paused and gloried in the beauty of this park (seriously, if you have not been, YOU. MUST. GO.) as I stood overlooking Jenny Lake with rapids feeding into it on one side, Hidden Falls rushing down another side, and the Teton Range thrusting upward around it. (I cannot claim credit for this photo, but it captures an average view from my day perfectly.)

And during the entire "lap" around the lake I never tired of talking with God. I talked with him (yep, out loud) about various things on my mind, I lifted up many dear ones in prayer, I pondered certain situations, I revealed some fears. To say it was a time of attention restoration is a massive understatement. It was heaven itself.

I pray you may have some attention restoration this summer. Read some good, hard, challenging books. And Lord willing, may you get to go to a "thin place" and revel in the Creator. He is so very, very good.

Summer Reads

1. Finished Westmont Mayterm course -- check.
2. Attended high school graduation for many former youth groupies -- check.
3. Participated in Providence Hall graduation one last time (and enjoyed myself greatly) -- check.
4. Met individually yesterday and today with each of my nine Free Methodist summer interns (via Skype) -- check.
5. Replied to a bazillion overdue emails -- check.

Ahhhh. All those checked-off items means... it's time for vacation!! Yesssssss. (Fist pump).

It's 9:45pm, the bags are packed, and I can already feel myself starting to relax. And thanks to a lovely college student home for the summer, I can rest easily knowing the kitties are in good hands.

Heading to Grand Teton National Park (chock full of gluten-free granola bars, naturally), I look forward to blissful days of ZERO email, eating when I'm hungry, sleeping till I wake up, lots of hiking, and reading reading reading.

What's on my reading list, you might ask? I will be the first to admit that I get very ambitious when I pack my bags, so this list may extend into summer. Which is fine by me!

• Istanbul: Memories and the City by Orhan Pamuk. I had some beloved youth groupies go on a semester-long trip to Turkey (and parts of the Middle East) with my friends Heather and Jim (professors at Westmont), and their photos made me jealous. I had an amazing trip through Turkey in May 2005, and it's on my bucket list to return. This book will probably make me want to go even more. I like Pamuk's writing a lot. He does a good job describing his inner life.
• Colonel Roosevelt by Edmund Morris. I first listed this book on this post, but got delayed by... life. So I'm ready to feast on the third part of this biography, having read the first two during past visits to other national parks.
• Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses by Bruce Feiler. I've heard a bit about this book on NPR, but it was mostly an impulse purchase as I ran through Borders when it was closing. How do you pass up 70% discounts?! And let's be honest -- this title had me at hello!
• The Faith of a Writer: Life, Craft, Art by Joyce Carol Oates. I have a bunch of beautiful "how-to-write" books hoarded on my bedside table, making myself think I'll become a great writer someday simply by owning them. I have read one or two of them, but it's time to wade in and just ENJOY.
• The Way of the Heart: Desert Spirituality and Contemporary Ministry by Henri Nouwen. Yep, this is a re-read. This is an oldie but a goodie (my edition is from 1981!), and as I was packing in my room it caught my eye. I just sensed it was time to read it again. How can that not be good?

My last month has been full, teaching for Mayterm, launching summer interns, conferences and consulting out of town. I have high hopes of returning to more regular posting again here upon my return because I have missed it. Thanks for reading -- please post what YOU are reading these days.

I Still Read Books

I'm not trying to sound superior in my title... I just have not (yet) made the dive into Kindle or Nook or iPad. I'm not against e-Book technology necessarily -- but I cannot deny that I still love the feeling of holding a book in my hand... seeing those books in my shelves... pulling them out occasionally to look for the underlined quote or section that my visual memory is recalling... Ah.

I'm on a sabbatical of sorts this summer. My contract to teach ended in June and I don't start up again until the third week of August. So I'm working about half-time and am grateful to say I have enough income to not fret over the temporary decrease. Instead, I'm using the extra time to read. Ah.

I've piled an ambitious stack of books in my room, and hope to chip away at a book per week for 6 weeks or so. I'm already a week behind, but I am not daunted. I have finished one and am halfway through another. I've even tossed one aside that bored me within 50 pages.

I hope to put some thoughts here after each one I read, so here goes on the first book of my summer reads....

Reader Alert: Unlike normal people, I'm not a let's-just-read-something-light-in-the-summer kinda gal. I relax by reading, period. Sometimes it's thick stuff, but often the need to concentrate on what I'm reading is even more relaxing. I'm a weird one.

A FAILURE OF NERVE: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman

I picked this book up for three reasons:

1. I loved Friedman's book Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church & Synagogue when I read it in a seminary class some 20 years ago, so I especially trusted him as an author. Generation to Generation was a game changer for me. Not only did it help me to tap into some of my own family stuff, it helped me to see how family systems are at work in the church. This really helped me understand the intricate relational dynamics swirling around me as a youth pastor. (Of course I wish I had been mature enough and smart enough to avoid the many pitfalls I still stumbled into, but at least I understood them, mostly in hindsight...)
2. I had read an article that referred to this new book, A Failure of Nerve, and the quotes were really intriguing. I had to read more.
3. Leadership. I really care about leadership -- how to bring it out in others (especially pastors), how to discern it in young people, how to identify it, how to live it out myself. There is a pile of lousy leadership books out there. After reading the quotes from this book in the article I sensed that Friedman had something different (and NEW) to say.

I promptly ordered the book, and started reading it as soon as I got it. Soon I remember one significant quality of Friedman's work: he is a rather dense writer. Not impossible, certainly, but not one to casually scan either. Be prepared to dig in, and perhaps only read in small chunks.

Friedman must've been one very smart cookie -- he was both a Marriage & Family Therapist and a rabbi, and consulted with countless organizations and congregations. His books roam through history, theology, psychology, hard science, sociology... But I think I enjoy his books so much because they are not "same song, different verse," especially when it comes to the qualities of spiritual leadership. He has truly unique, thought-provoking things to say. Here's a simple example:

A well-differentiated leader... [is] someone who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about. I mean someone who can be separate while still remaining connected, and therefore can maintain a modifying, non-anxious, and sometimes challenging presence. I mean someone who can manage his or her own reactivity to the automatic reactivity of others, and therefore be able to take stands at the risk of displeasing.

In my own work with pastors and church leaders, I find the most prominent areas where they (myself included) get stuck is in trying to remain in front of the many tasks, projects and people under our care. There is a huge tendency to get buried by the demands and urgency of them all, be drawn into all of their crises, and become deeply tired and overwhelmed. One ends up becoming a manager of endless to-do lists or worse, a firefighter consumed with putting out the "Fire of the Week." All of that is tremendously draining and a fast ticket to burnout.

Friedman reminds us that our job is to lead. Yet rather than follow the route of the leadership and motivational books one sees filling the stacks of airport bookstores (The Complete Idiot's Guide to Motivational Leadership, Heroic Leadership, Oprah's Guide to Life, 50 Self-Help Classics...) Friedman avoids gimmicks and methods completely. Instead, he goes straight to the heart of the matter, and stays there. He insists that the reader grapple with the deeper, more fundamental issues that percolate inside all of us. This "requires commitment to the lifetime project of being willing to be continually transformed by one's experience." Remember the subtitle: "Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix." Friedman insists on one leading out of a profound, ethically-driven sense of mission, purpose and calling. He made me really look at how much chronic anxiety is at work in every corner of American life, and how much I succumb to it. As he says, "Living with crisis is a major part of leaders' lives." It "comes with the territory." But the book then sheds tremendous light on how to lead in spite of all those dynamics at work. If the leader can stay above the reactive fray, then he or she can move from a "seatbelt" mentality to one of adventure and prophetic wisdom. I must listen to God far more than I listen to the emails, voicemails and appointments in my day. This quote says it all:

In the final analysis, the relationship between risk and reality is about leadership.

Friedman gives insight into all the various expressions of leadership in front of us: as parents, in the church, at work, in our culture. As soon as I finished this book I went back to page 1 and reviewed the entire book again, taking notes this time. (I mentioned I'm weird). I could go on and on with the value of this book, but I'll end with this simple quote:

Most of the decisions we make in life turn out to be right or wrong not because we were prescient, but because of the way we function after we make the decision.

Friedman reminds me that while I cannot control nearly anything in this world, I can certainly decide, in and through Christ, how I will respond to the things I face every day. As the Apostle Paul says,

I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. (Philippians 1:9-11)

Gone Fishing

As can really only happen in spiritual reading, several different things I meditated upon this morning struck deep chords in me...

From my Nouwen daily reading:

[The disciples] had rowed three or four miles when they saw Jesus walking on the lake and coming towards the boat. This frightened them, but he said, 'It is I. Do not be afraid'. (John 6)

You can go out and you will live. You will live eternally because Jesus is the Lord of life. That is the ecstasy. You can start participating in it every time you step out of your fear and out of the sameness. It doesn't require big jumps, but simply small steps.

My own fears do not need to be named here. But I definitely have them, and they run deep. Far deeper than I realize.

Then I read Luke 5:1-11... even if you have read this passage countless times, read it slowly and carefully now (I have to remind myself of that regularly):

¹ One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. ² He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. ³ Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon, its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.

⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”

⁵ “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” ⁶ And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! ⁷A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.

⁸ When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.” ⁹ For he was awestruck by the number of fish they had caught, as were the others with him. ¹⁰ His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed.

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” ¹¹ And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

I am like Peter. With my mouth I declare obedience, but internally I am skeptical, and keep myself at arm's length. After all, if my expectations remain small, I won't be disappointed, right?

I love Peter's response when the great catch of fish happens... his first reaction is not "Yippee! It's payday!" because now he'll make a ton of money on the haul of fish. Instead, his soul is pierced and the true state of his fearful, willful spirit is revealed. In embarrassment he tells Jesus to leave.

Then I read this quote by Richard Foster, who wrote Celebration of Discipline, among other outstanding books:

We have real difficulty here because everyone thinks of changing the world, but where, oh where, are those who think of changing themselves? People may genuinely want to be good, but seldom are they prepared to do what it takes to produce the inward life of goodness that can form the soul. Personal formation into the likeness of Christ is arduous and lifelong.

This morning I am reminded of so many things...

...that personal growth comes through consistent and small steps more than giant mountaintop experiences;

...that unconsciously I always hold back ~ my fears are ever present, and must be uncovered constantly;

...that I will be chipping away at these things, with God's great grace and endless power, for the rest of my days.

A prayer from St. Benedict states it beautifully:

Therefore we must prepare our hearts and our bodies

to do battle under the holy obedience of His commands;

and let us ask God

that He be pleased to give us the help of His grace

for anything which our nature finds hardly possible.

Amen.

Run For Your Life

I've been cruising through 1 Timothy this week. There have been so many stunning verses. But these two in chapter 6 press in on me:

Run for your life from all this. Pursue a righteous life—a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy. Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses. (verses 11-12)

I hold that passage in one hand, and this great reminder from Benedictine reading in the other:

Eventually we must all settle down and do something serious with our lives, and every day we must make a fresh beginning of it.

May you be able to see the daily opportunities in front of you to run, to seize, to pursue... they are always right there.

Fullness

Colossians continues to bless me (see yesterday's post...)

This morning's words, taken from The Message paraphrase, are marching orders worth following, plain and simple -- from Colossians 2:6-10 ~

My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.

Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that's not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in him, so you can see and hear him clearly. You don't need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything.

So often people will ask, in the form of a greeting, "How's it going?" Rather than list off the various tasks that lay ahead of me for the day or the week, how great it would be if I just said, "Fully living."

Sure, that's pretty random. But when we camp on that concept, that reality, of fullness, it makes sense. Warren Wiersbe, the Bible commentator, says "fullness" is "the sum total of all that God is, all of His being and attributes." The great gift is that we share in this fullness, in a reliable, permanent way. One commentator translated verse 10 in this way:

And you are in Him, having been completely filled full with the present result that you are in a state of fullness.

THAT is good news. THAT is permanence of the best kind. Camp on that today and look at your life through that lens. Everything shifts into proper perspective.

Feelings and Identity

This needs no intro. Fantastic, wise, beautiful words that God used to remind me of great truth this morning. From Henri Nouwen... go to henrinouwensociety.org to sign up for daily quotes.

What We Feel Is Not Who We Are

Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood swings: from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos. A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us rather than being created by us.

Thus it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children.

Acceptance

I read this in the wee hours...
"If we accept God's will in life where our will does not prevail, if we accept ourselves for what we are and grow from that, if we can live simply, if we can respect others and reverence them, if we can be a trusting part of our world without having to strut around it controlling it, changing it, wrenching it to our own image and likeness, then we will have achieved 'perfect love that casts out fear' (1 John 4:18).

There will be nothing left to fear -- not God's wrath, not the loss of human respect, not the absence of control..." Joan Chittister, The Rule of Benedict

Stillness & Motion

I feel like I heard from God this morning in a couple of nice ways...

First from Henri Nouwen quote of the day:

A Still Place in the Market

"Be still and acknowledge that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). These are words to take with us in our busy lives. We may think about stillness in contrast to our noisy world. But perhaps we can go further and keep an inner stillness even while we carry on business, teach, work in construction, make music, or organise meetings.

It is important to keep a still place in the "marketplace." This still place is where God can dwell and speak to us. It also is the place from where we can speak in a healing way to all the people we meet in our busy days. Without that still space we start spinning. We become driven people, running all over the place without much direction. But with that stillness God can be our gentle guide in everything we think, say, or do.

Then I read this in a devotional:

Spirituality is clearly rooted in living ordinary life with extraordinary awareness and commitment... it is so easy to go through life looking feverishly for special ways to find God when God is most of all to be found in doing common things with uncommon conscientiousness.

Today is my weekly Sabbath day. I got in the habit of taking Saturdays for this (rather than Sundays) years ago when I started working for a church. Today I woke up slowly, read and prayed a bit, then went into the garden and picked some green onion and swiss chard. I sauteed them in some olive oil, fried up some eggs with them and had a very nice breakfast (with a requisite cup of coffee, of course). My day will be simple -- some exercise, a little reading, some doodling around the house that helps bring some order to my personal life. I will heed the words from Nouwen and from Benedict, to revel in the ordinary with acute awareness. I thought about dear old Jack the cat and got a little wistful -- I missed his tail talk in the morning as I made my breakfast. But I enjoyed the birds as I hung laundry and noticed a large black lizard in the woodpile next to the patio. The warmth of the sun felt good on my face.

As I gather myself this Sabbath day and get my wits about me after a full week, I then want to take that stillness that can only come from the Spirit of God into another week of motion. Let's help each other do this.

Spiritual Reading

I received this today from the Henri Nouwen Society in their daily newsletter.

Reading Spiritually About Spiritual Things

Reading often means gathering information, acquiring new insight and knowledge, and mastering a new field. It can lead us to degrees, diplomas, and certificates. Spiritual reading, however, is different. It means not simply reading about spiritual things but also reading about spiritual things in a spiritual way. That requires a willingness not just to read but to be read, not just to master but to be mastered by words. As long as we read the Bible or a spiritual book simply to acquire knowledge, our reading does not help us in our spiritual lives. We can become very knowledgeable about spiritual matters without becoming truly spiritual people.

As we read spiritually about spiritual things, we open our hearts to God's voice. Sometimes we must be willing to put down the book we are reading and just listen to what God is saying to us through its words.

Are you pausing each day to read spiritually?