Holy Week Readings, Day Four

Thought-provoking insights from Wisdom Distilled from the Daily regarding reflective prayer:

Prayer is the filter through which we view our worlds. Prayer provokes us to see the life around us in fresh, new ways... Prayer is designed to enable people to realize that God is in the world around them... prayer is meant to call us back to a consciousness of God here and now, not to make God some kind of private getaway from life. 

It is so easy to come to believe that what we do is so much more important that what we are. It is so easy to simply get too busy to grow. 

To pray only when we feel like it is more to seek consolation than to risk conversion. To pray only when it suits us is to want God on our terms... The hard fact is that nobody finds time for prayer. The time must be taken. There will always be something more pressing to do, something more important to be about than the apparently fruitless, empty act of prayer. But when that attitude takes over, we have begun the last trip down a very short road because, without prayer, the energy for the rest of life runs down.

Benedictine prayer [rooted in the Psalms and the Scriptures] pries me out of myself and stretches me beyond myself so that I can come someday, perhaps, to be my best self... Benedictine prayer life, besides being scriptural and regular, is reflective. It is designed to make us take our own lives into account in the light of the gospel.

There is little for me to add to these remarkable words. For several years I was in a Tuesday morning prayer group where we learned and practiced the things described here. Rather than revolving our prayers reactively around our immediate circumstances, we learned to invite scripture and the Spirit to set the tone. In fits and starts, I have applied the wisdom gained from my experience in that group, and today's reading is a gut-punch reminder of those lessons.

So today I will reflect and read and pray through Psalm 86, the psalm that is assigned to my daily Bible reading. I will heed these discerning reflections from Wisdom as I pray through it:

Reflection on the Scriptures is basic to growth in prayer to growth as a person. Prayer is a process of coming to be something new. It is not simply a series of exercises.

1 Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
    for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
    save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
    for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
    for I put my trust in you.

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
    abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, Lord;
    listen to my cry for mercy.
7 When I am in distress, I call to you,
    because you answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
    no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made
    will come and worship before you, Lord;
    they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
    you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
    I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
    you have delivered me from the depths,
    from the realm of the dead.

14 Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
    ruthless people are trying to kill me—
    they have no regard for you.
15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
    show your strength in behalf of your servant;
save me, because I serve you
    just as my mother did.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
    that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
    for you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Holy Week Readings, Day Two

Authentic abundance does not lie in secured stockpiles of food or cash or influence or affection but in belonging to a community where we can give those goods to others who need them—and receive them from others when we are in need.

Parker Palmer

Several of my hours each week are dedicated to conversations, Bible studies or classes with college students. Graduating seniors are in the thick of big questions right now, and I could not begin to calculate how many hundreds of times I have had the "so what should I do with my life?" conversation. 

I try hard to bring fresh eyes to each one of those encounters, firmly avoiding a "been there, done that" attitude. To be sure, I have to work hard at times to suppress an eye roll (or two) when I hear some of them express what they think are original thoughts, but overall, I find their earnest searching to be refreshing.

At the top is a quote by a favorite author of mine that sums up much of what my thoughts are when I share with those students. Determining calling and career are obviously important, but I have come to believe that the community one lives in trumps them all, and is often the one of the main decisions they neglect. 

Certainly, I am not encouraging students to keep "livin' the dream" and bunk down with 8 of their best friends in a two-bedroom apartment, suffering together through mindless barista jobs, drinking wine and sharing deep thoughts every night... But I am also not pressing them to dive right in to the fast-track career trajectory, ignoring questions of faith community and service.

Palmer captures it perfectly, and as I now look back some thirty (gulp!) years after graduating from college, I can say that what has given me the most meaning in my life (and strength, joy, and challenge) has been the community in which I have lived. I'm not talking about the city or town where one resides... I am talking about the group of people one is "doing life with" week after week. 

Though the group has changed over time, in the last five years God has been slowly shaping a very safe, nurturing, thought-provoking group of people in which I get to live and work.  In my reading this morning from Wisdom Distilled from the Daily, these words are timely: 

Humility is the glue of our relationships. Humility is the foundation of community and family and friendship and love. Humility comes from understanding my place in the universe.

I encourage graduating seniors (and those muddling through their first year or two after college graduation) to look for (and help to shape) a community that is not held together by affinity (what things do we have in common?) or memories (we were all in this youth group or graduated from this college) but by mission.  First we are called to Jesus, and second we are called to serve... that is the essence of the Great Command: "'The first is... you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Mark 12:30-31)

We love God by loving our neighbor, but the only way I can really love my neighbor is by loving God. It is a wonderful, interconnected, complicated, compelling, and at times exhausting pursuit. Jesus models all of this to us in the actions of his final week of earthly ministry. May we all contemplate those with fresh eyes and ears in our approach to Easter.

"How Much Longer?"

This past week I spent some time with a ministry staff who asked me to come in and talk about organization and time management. Some of the team was struggling with too many things to do and too little time to get it all done.

I did not know most of these folks, so in order to get to know them, I asked them to write a headline for their ministry newsletter, ten years in the future. "What would you want the headline to say about you?"

They came up with some outstanding and aspirational statements. None of them were arrogant or shallow -- all of the statements were deeply significant and focused on the kingdom of God. Nevertheless, they all admitted to some level of exhaustion over the many things they were trying to do, many of which were not taking them in the directions their headlines aspired to.

Then we talked about what it takes to keep focused on their ultimate goals and not get mired in the day-to-day chaos of to-do lists and people's crises. Stephen Covey, in his tried and true book 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, says that what we want said about ourselves at the end of our lives turns out to be our definition of success. I said that a formative booklet for me in college was titled The Tyranny of the Urgent, which taught me about shaping my life around important things, which may not demand my attention the way that those urgent things do. The rest of our time together was spent in talking about how to manage our priorities and schedules according to the important things.

I'm well aware that this is far easier said than done, and I submit to you that after thirty years of vocational ministry, I may only now be starting to get the hang of it. I was reminded of this message again in my reading. Once again, Henri Nouwen speaks profound truth:

If we do not wait patiently in expectation for God's coming in glory, we start wandering around, going from one little sensation to another.  Our lives get stuffed with newspaper items, television stories, and gossip.  Then our minds lose the discipline of discerning between what leads us closer to God and what doesn't, and our hearts gradually lose their spiritual sensitivity. 

Without waiting for the second coming of Christ, we will stagnate quickly and become tempted to indulge in whatever gives us a moment of pleasure.  When Paul asks us to wake from sleep, he says:  "Let us live decently, as in the light of day; with no orgies or drunkenness, no promiscuity or licentiousness, and no wrangling or jealousy.  Let your armour be the Lord Jesus Christ, and stop worrying about how your disordered natural inclinations may be fulfilled"  (Romans 13:13-14).  When we have the Lord to look forward to, we can already experience him in the waiting.

Like children on a road trip with their parents, we are usually impatient to get to our destination, and incessantly ask, "How much longer??" In the same way, as adults we indulge our impatience by tinkering around with busyness that often does not add up to anything of real substance over time. The process of maturation must include growth in the capacity to delay gratification. This passage has been instructive in so many ways:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

May we be impatient for our true destination, but somehow also enjoy the journey.

What is Leadership?

I have had a great week, and it's only Wednesday! On Monday I finished launching eleven summer interns into ten-week ministry projects that are located from Santa Barbara to San Diego, and then coached a team leader in the Midwest who is guiding a ten-member national team doing social media and all forms of digital communication. On Tuesday I met for several hours with a married couple who are co-pastoring a 108 year-old church in Los Angeles that they just moved to... The church started as historically Anglo, and now has three different services meeting on campus every Sunday: one in Spanish, one in English and one in both Cantonese and Mandarin! Today I met with a woman who is mentoring youth pastors all over the Los Angeles area, and then met on Skype with two pastors in Seattle area.

The ages of these people range from 20 to 45, but they all have one thing in common: they are leaders. I love identifying, raising up, training and walking alongside such leaders. Not only does it bless me to hear about their ministries and challenges; it also keeps me sharp in my own learning and growth.

Despite years of experience, I know I still have much to learn. So I am a sponge for all manner of books, articles, seminars and wise mentors. But last night I was reminded that Jesus is still my best teacher. In our home group we spent some time reading through Luke 9:1-17, where Jesus sends out the disciples to start learning how to minister. As it says in the opening lines, he "gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal." Sheesh -- no big deal, right?

After reading this passage on our own and sharing our impressions in our study, one person pointed out something I had failed to notice, that really blew my mind... she noted how the disciples are described in the whole section:

• Vs. 1: "Then Jesus called the twelve together..."
• Vs. 10: "On their return the apostles told Jesus all they had done."
• Vs. 12: "The day was drawing to a close, and the twelve came to him..."
• Vs. 14: "And he said to his disciples..."

It is important to read through the passage yourself to see what happens, but in a nutshell: the twelve are sent out to extend the ministry of Jesus by casting out demons, healing diseases and proclaiming the kingdom of God; the apostles come back with glowing reports of what happened; the twelve are tired after a long day and want the crowds of thousands to be sent away; and the disciples are schooled in what it means to truly care for people.

It would be fun to really dig in and do some extended word study on each term. I do know that the "apostles" are the "sent ones," and the "disciples" are "learners" or "pupils." In our group we enjoyed seeing the arc of the disciples' leadership development in a very short span of time -- they went from being empowered and sent out to being humbled and needing to learn... again and again and again.

I'm here to report that, through repeated trial and error, I have discovered that this cycle will never end! As we grow in faith we are empowered and sent out, but we will stumble and trip as we go. The question is not if, but when. 

Surround yourself with people who want to be apostles and disciples. Learn from them, learn with them. And study the life of Jesus together for the best training possible. 

(For further study and learning, I have also grown from the pursuit of spiritual disciplines. Here is a set of articles on the twelve classic spiritual disciplines that I wrote last year...)

Impossible

I find myself noticing that truth comes to me in bits and pieces. It usually starts with a tantalizing thought that leads unexpectedly to another, then another. If I'm attentive, I can follow these thoughts, one to another, until I'm on a trail to something.

I don't think I've arrived at the destination that these various things point to, but I am intrigued.

It started with some reading earlier in the week, when I came to Luke 1 in my One-Year Bible. Admittedly, I had that brief surge of "been there, done that" wash over me as I started a gospel I have read and taught out of many times before. I fought the temptation to skip over it, pretty confident that something would speak out.

I did not have to wait long:

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 

But she was much perplexed (um, YEAH) by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?”  The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her. (verses 26-380

I prayed for open eyes and ears as I read. And soon that statement, "For nothing will be impossible with God," stirred in me.

I thought to myself, "Do I believe that? I mean, really believe that?" Because if I did, I would pray bolder prayers. And I would never give up. That's what faith is. It means that I believe, and I am confident that God is who He says he is.

No, it doesn't mean I have to scrunch up my face and somehow prayer harder. But it does mean, like the persistent widow in Luke 18, that I keep showing up, and keep asking.

So I assembled a list of "impossibles." I don't feel the need to share most of them. But suffice it to say they point to the future, to forgiveness, to revolution big and small. And I have committed to praying about them every day. For healing in a friend's life, who just received a devastating diagnosis. For housing for two friends I have met in the last year who live on the street. For love to break through in some hearts....

As I said at the start, these truths come in bits and pieces. I pray for one, then two, then three days about the Impossibles. Then I heard last night as I studied for my class, a stunning reminder. We are working through the Torah, and are currently in the Book of Exodus. In chapter 32, there is a fascinating section, after God hears of the insane decision of Aaron and the Israelites to fashion an idol in the shape of a golden calf for worship right at the time when Moses is received the Ten Commandments. God is furious at their utter foolishness in praying to other gods. Moses speaks up on their behalf:

Turn from your fierce wrath; change your mind and do not bring disaster on your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, how you swore to them by your own self, saying to them, ‘I will multiply your descendants like the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.’”  And the Lord changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people. (verses 12-14)

There is not room here to go into the Hebrew and explain what this passage means. But certainly, we have imposed the English meaning of "change your mind" and tried to make it to fit into our little theological boxes, thinking we can constrain and quantify God to fit our favorite posture. But God will not be boxed!

I have enjoyed this round of reading Exodus, seeing an intimacy between Moses and God that is beautiful, and in many ways (I believe) archetypal of what we can have with God as we now have His Spirit in us. What I take from this is that if you find yourself in disaster, you can pray to God and ask him to have mercy or even remind him of his promises.  Some want to say that prayer is only for our benefit, to help shape us to conform more to God's unbending plans. Sure, that is part of the process. But I also know God to be a God of relationship and dialogue and mercy and love. The Bible is one unending story of God's pursuit of his people, repeatedly chasing us down and calling us to Himself, the Author and Sustainer of life.

Does that mean that I think God is my personal cosmic vending machine? Absolutely not. But do I know him to be one who wants to hear from me, placing every one of my hopes and fears and prayers into his hands, every moment and every day? Absolutely.


Today I came across a question that carried me further into these truths that have been eeking themselves out in front of me. I receive a daily reading from the Christian Quotation of the Day. (Have no fear, these are definitely worth subscribing to. They are not corny, Precious Moments, power-of-positive-thinking crap... they are historic, profound words from all sorts of writers, leaders, and saints.) 

Today contained this question. Let it bother you.

Do I exhibit the unexplainable in my life?

Like Mary, I am trying to have my reply be, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” May we live lives of faith in the impossible.

New Year's Prayers

I am spending this morning reflecting a bit on 2012 and praying for 2013. Here are some quotes and prayers that speak loudly to me. I want to share them here.


George Fox, founder of the Religious Society of Friends, wrote, “People must be led out of captivity up to God. Be patterns, be examples that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people, and to them. Then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in everyone.” 

The Society of Friends (a.k.a. Quakers) helped to transform America by releasing their slaves in the late 1700's, and by organizing the Underground Railroad. How are we called as followers of Christ in 2013 to stand up to systems of pain and oppression?

"Almighty and everlasting God, in whom we live and move, andhave our being; glory be to Thee for my recovery from sickness, and the continuance of my life. Grant, O my God, that I may improve the year which I am now beginning, and all the days which Thou shalt add to my life, by serious repentance and diligent obedience; that, by the help of thy Holy Spirit, I may use the means of grace to my own salvation, and at last enjoy thy presence in eternal happiness, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen." (Samuel Johnson 1709-1784).

I love this prayer. The "means of grace" are profound -- spiritual disciplines, sacraments, scripture, humble service... You are so generous God in equipping us FAR beyond our own limited capacity through your transforming love and power.

I read a bit in the genealogy of Jesus in the Book of Matthew as it starts, and it's a cavalcade of broken people. So much sin and junk in the generations of Jesus' line. I look at my own family line, and there are deep hurts as well -- as there are in every family... yet you saved me and have chosen to use my imperfect life to bless others. A miracle.

Frederick Buechner has written, “The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It’s for you I created the universe. I love you. There’s only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you’ll reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.”

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love the Book of Philippians. All of these quotes and passages could be summed up in these two simple verses from Chapter Two, which sum up the great tension of the Christian life:

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (verses 12-13)

May you know and love Jesus more in 2013, and may that love and knowledge flow out in abundant blessing to others. As George Fox challenged us, may we our lives preach to "all sorts of people." Happy New Year.

Advent 2012: The Now and Not Yet

I am late to the party when it comes to celebrating and enjoying Advent. Not having grown up with religious practice around Christmastime, I did not know about lighting candles and the Advent wreath and all that till much later...

Not only have I learned to extend Christmas joy into an entire month by practicing Advent, but even better, I have grown in learning how to anticipate the Second Advent by recalling the First Advent.

A friend in Bible study got all of us turned on to Advent readings provided by Creighton University, a Catholic school in Omaha. The readings for this first week have been a lovely way to start this year's Advent celebrations and reflections.

Here is a portion of today's scripture reading, from Isaiah 29. Take a moment to envision this prophecy for the future:

17 Soon—and it will not be very long—
    the forests of Lebanon will become a fertile field,
    and the fertile field will yield bountiful crops.
18 In that day the deaf will hear words read from a book,
    and the blind will see through the gloom and darkness.
19 The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord.
    The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
20 The scoffer will be gone,
    the arrogant will disappear,
    and those who plot evil will be killed.
21 Those who convict the innocent
    by their false testimony will disappear.
A similar fate awaits those who use trickery to pervert justice
    and who tell lies to destroy the innocent.

22 That is why the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, says to the people of Israel,

“My people will no longer be ashamed
    or turn pale with fear.
23 For when they see their many children
    and all the blessings I have given them,
they will recognize the holiness of the Holy One of Israel.
    They will stand in awe of the God of Jacob.
24 Then the wayward will gain understanding,
    and complainers will accept instruction.

The Advent writer for today's passage says this about these words:

Isaiah is a prophet, one who sees reality as God inspires him to and who then speaks of that reality as God impels him to.  Here Isaiah speaks of the changes that God will operate, and he describes those changes in three seamless stages.

At first Isaiah speaks of very clear changes in Lebanon and then gradually eases into smaller and less visible alterations: the deaf shall hear, etc.  In the third stage he proclaims the end of evil: the tyrant, the arrogant, those alert to do evil, etc. shall disappear.  Isaiah makes it clear that the Lord is actually working these positive transformations, right now; he announces and proclaims it in the very face of all the contrary evidence...

The last verses of this passage point to the result of God's work: the house of Jacob shall have all sorts of reasons to be healthy and fearless and to know and serve the Lord.  This is something yet to come for his hearers, and it is still today only a hope (and I mean that in the theological sense, not as just a vague wish).

As Christians of today we find ourselves in much the same position.  In terms of Isaiah's words, our world is becoming visibly less clean and fresh, and it needs renewal or recreation (cf. Wordsworth, "The world is too much with us").  We have all sorts of people wounded and broken in body and spirit, and not just "naturally" so, and can we say that evil men and women do not have a major hand in running our world?  Jesus has come and changed everything by His living, dying, and rising, but we still wait in hope to see the fullness of His salvation.

So do Isaiah's words bring us to hope, to trusting the Lord even in our darkness and frustration?  Are we willing to live the life of the beatitudes as we await the revelation of the Lord in our world? 

If not, can we experience the coming feast of the Birth of Christ in any authentic way? 

I am greatly challenged by his last questions, especially the last one I bolded in bright blue. I want to say a vigorous YES! to that... may we each live "the life of the beatitudes" in this waiting time between the First and Second Advents of our Savior.

Yesterday I finished up my class at Westmont and left them with these words...

"Heaven is not a far-away place to which we hope to go; it is the presence of God in which we ought to live." William R. Inge (1860-1954)

This was a class on how to integrate theology, doctrine and practice for ministry. Before we get too lost in all the implications of that, I wanted them to remember that it is really quite simple: ministry is giving people a taste of heaven. In the NOW, we get a tiny glimpse of the NOT YET. That alone is more compelling than any words we could possibly come up with.

As you practice Advent, I pray that we will all taste of heaven, and be reminded of the many beautiful promises that the Lord is bringing to bear -- slowly, steadily, surely. Hallelujah!

Fall Updates 2012: Day Seven

Last night a group of us who meet every Tuesday night for Bible study and fellowship did what we normally do on the last Tuesday of every month: we do laundry with friends who live on the streets. It was started at a laundromat nearby by a friend of mine who called it Laundry Love. (I know there are other Laundry Loves in Santa Barbara, but we are only connected in spirit).

We arrive around 5pm with a Costco-sized tub of laundry detergent and an old pasta jar full of quarters.  As we plug quarters into the washers and dryers, we hang out and visit with our friends. Once the stuff is in the dryers, we serve up about 6 large Domino's pizzas, which we purchase through a generous deal with the owner next door.

I need to be honest and say that when we started doing this about eighteen months ago that I had to really rev myself up every time to do it. It's a very meaningful thing to do, but that doesn't make it easy. Making conversation with people who are living with some major challenges -- be they financial, medical, mental, chemical or social -- is not always easy.

But after all these months, something clicked for me last night. It was... lovely. Conversation came naturally, names were known and said, genuine affection was shared, and we laughed as we lamented the troubles of life together. One of our key couples was not there last night because they had taken a trip to New York City which was very much derailed by Hurricane Sandy. The regulars heard about this and had a bunch of questions for us. One of them said as we were leaving, "Please make sure they know that we are all praying for them here." I nodded, and thought to myself, if anyone knows the challenges that weather and hardship can bring, it is these people. Their prayers will be heartfelt, for sure.

I prayed about our time together with our friends this morning, and I read these two things:

Like every human organization the Church is constantly in danger of corruption.  As soon as power and wealth come to the Church, manipulation, exploitation, misuse of influence, and outright corruption are not far away.

How do we prevent corruption in the Church? The answer is clear:  by focusing on the poor.  The poor make the Church faithful to its vocation.  When the Church is no longer a church for the poor, it loses its spiritual identity.  It gets caught up in disagreements, jealousy, power games, and pettiness.  Paul says,  "God has composed the body so that greater dignity is given to the parts which were without it, and so that there may not be disagreements inside the body but each part may be equally concerned for all the others" (1 Corinthians 12:24-25).  This is the true vision.  The poor are given to the Church so that the Church as the body of Christ can be and remain a place of mutual concern, love, and peace. (Henri Nouwen)

Psalm 103

1 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
    with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
    may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
    and heals all my diseases.
4 He redeems me from death
    and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
5 He fills my life with good things.
    My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

I have learned so much not just by serving but by knowing the poor. They are not "bums" or "hobos"... they are people with names who are made in the image of God. He knows the number of hairs on their heads.

I heard this verse taught on years ago by a man I greatly admire, Bob Mitchell, the former president of Young Life. I take it seriously, and will end with it:

Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor
    will be ignored in their own time of need. (Proverbs 21:13)

Fall Updates 2012: Day Six

I will start this post by saying, "It's Still Easy Being Green." Huh?

As I share in these last few posts about what I am up to, I want to confirm that I am still as green as ever when it comes to transportation. Two years ago, almost to the day, I posted here about selling my car and opting to rely instead on my scooter, my bike, my feet, public transportation, the kindness of friends and an occasional car rental!

Whenever this comes up in conversation, people are nearly always either curious or baffled. And then their first question is usually some variation on "And how's that working for you?" I am happy to say that I am doing just fine. More than fine, really.

Not only has it been two years since I sold my faithful 1997 Subaru Legacy Wagon, but it's also been five and a half years since I bought my Buddy scooter, which is just about to hit 14,000 miles on the odometer. It's also been over nine years (May 2003) since I started this "green journey" intentionally. Along the way, I've definitely discovered a few things...

It's not that difficult. Granted, I'm single and don't have to transport others on a regular basis. But regardless of who I talk to about this, it is easy for them to admit that they could easily do one trip a day without their car. Here's more info and motivation on bicycle commuting. Really - think about it... consolidate some errands into one trip; bring a lunch to work instead of driving somewhere; ride your bike to Farmer's Market... there are plentiful options!

It helps me stay in shape. By walking and/or cycling every day, I would venture to say I'm the healthiest I've ever been. And I've finally been able to figure out how to lose a little weight along the way. Quite possibly a miracle for me, a person with the metabolism of a fire hydrant.

It makes me more aware of the poor in our midst. It's so #firstworldproblems to talk about being green, in some ways. After all, the hipsters love to ride chic bikes or scooters, right? And let's not forget that it is quite the luxury to get to choose whether or not to drive a car. But I will say that not having a car has caused me to be much more aware of the elements. For example, I diligently check the weather forecast almost every day in order to figure out what I will face as I go places. And whenever it rains more than sprinkles, I take the bus. One time on the bus I overheard two people sitting next to me spend the entire bus ride (half an hour) talking through their options for the day due to the weather. It only took a few minutes to figure out that they both lived on the streets by what they talked about: which bus stops had shelters, where to buy fresh socks for the cheapest price, where to find warm meals, etc. Ever since then, I think about our friends on the streets whenever the weather veers from our 70 degrees in Santa Barbara.

I am a more thoughtful consumer. This could be an entire blog topic by itself, but suffice it to say that when I have to first consider whether or not I can carry whatever I purchase in the front basket of my scooter, or in the grocery bag carrier on my bike, that I am greatly slowed down when it comes to shopping.

My main motivation is spiritual. I can't deny that I'm saving a bunch of money by doing this. Filling up my scooter still costs less than $6, no car maintenance saves a bundle, and even on those days I need to rent a car or take the train, it all adds up to be much less expensive in comparison to the weekly costs of owning a car. But make no mistake, Reason #1, first and foremost, for me "being green" is creation care. I firmly believe that we are called as Christians to be good stewards of God's creation. As I mentioned directly above, not having a car forces me to be more careful in my spending. But I want to be quick to say that this is because I am pursuing the spiritual discipline of simplicity, not because I need to pinch pennies. (Though I cheer on anyone who needs to do it for this reason!) I am blessed to say that I am in a comfortable place financially, earning more than in my previous position at a church.

Just a few things to think about....

Fall Updates 2012: Day Five

Almost exactly a year ago I posted an update of writing projects, and I'm happy to say that the opportunities keep coming. This week in particular has been a banner week for me, and I want to share my good news.

Before I begin: I've said it before and I'll say it again... if I was hoping to make a living as a writer I would be homeless and hungry. But getting to write things on a regular basis to a nice variety of audiences is more than gratifying, so I am not complaining.

Here is what has come out this week -- I wrote them all at various points this summer and fall, but they managed to be released at the same time:

• Limping Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death: Lessons from One Who is Acquainted with Grief, Youthworker Journal. This is my tenth article for Youthworker. I consider it a privilege to write for them, having benefited from their work for years when I was more active in youth ministry. While I wish I did not have the experience to have written this article, I am grateful that they asked me to contribute to the conversation.
• I am Woman, Hear Me Roar, Conversations Journal. This article title sounds way more in your face than it actually is. It is simply my reflections on the life and impact of Lydia, a first-century church leader in Philippi. Her life and ministry have been a model to me.
• Confessions: Spiritual Disciplines for Youthworkers, CYMT.org. This is my 11th of 12 articles on the classic spiritual disciplines and what they can look like for youthworkers. I have really enjoyed writing this monthly column and it looks like I get to have a column again next year.
• It Happens: True Tales from the Trenches of Youth Ministry... OK, this didn't come out this week, but about a month ago. It was fun to have an entire chapter in a book, not gonna lie.

November will mark four years since I went on sabbatical and started this rollercoaster (as many downs as ups) ride of transition. In this process I have learned more than could ever be adequately described here, but suffice it to say I am nearly speechless with gratefulness at God's creative provision and more importantly, his very real presence and love. He is the God of freedom, grace and eternity.

To conclude I share some words from the Book of Jeremiah, chapter 31 (verses 17-20) that I read today:

“O Sovereign Lord! You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you! You show unfailing love to thousands, but you also bring the consequences of one generation’s sin upon the next. You are the great and powerful God, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. You have all wisdom and do great and mighty miracles. You see the conduct of all people, and you give them what they deserve. You performed miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt—things still remembered to this day! And you have continued to do great miracles in Israel and all around the world. You have made your name famous to this day.

Fear and Faith

I started a new phase of my life yesterday: I am back at seminary, this time at Azusa Pacific University, taking a couple of courses in order to get the extra units needed to start another graduate degree in Fall 2013. It is wonderful to be back in school again. I am a lifelong learner, and simply enjoy the entire process of lecture, reading, discussion, and application. So my Inner (Outer?!) Nerd was blissfully happy.

The course is Pastoral Counseling for Adolescents, and it is remarkable to take this course after so many years already logged in youth ministry. My first seminary courses were taken in 1984, and it is incredible to me what has ensued in those intervening years in terms of learning, experience, mistakes, joys, sorrows. Naturally, I wish I had known then what I know now, but that is what life is all about, right?

I am beginning to reflect on all the things that have changed in youth ministry in this long season of experience. There are simple things like going from using dittos to promote events in 1984 to creating Facebook events! But there are deeper, more profound issues as well, and the one that comes to mind on this anniversary of 9/11 is fear. Many horrifying events occurred well before 9/11 in our history -- two World Wars, AIDS, Vietnam, assassinations, atom bombs, nuclear threat, racism to name a few... but I would say there are two significant game-changers in the way we work emotionally in the United States: Columbine on April 20, 1999 and the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.

I am challenged to come up with words adequate to describe the level of fear I now sense with parents in comparison to the ways I related to parents at the beginning of my career. The intriguing part is that in the mid-eighties, it's not as if parents had lived in a world of puppies and rainbows. The decades of drugs and free love in the 60's, along with the cynicism coming out of Vietnam, Watergate and Jonestown in the 70's were not exactly a walk in the park!

But 9/11 and Columbine feel different. The fear and unimagined terror hit so close to home, and feel so tangible and invasive. How can we allay such paralyzing concerns? I look to scripture and there are some fundamentals that keep me anchored:


Isaiah 8
11 The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said,

12 “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do,
    and don’t live in dread of what frightens them.
13 Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life.
    He is the one you should fear.
He is the one who should make you tremble.
14     He will keep you safe.
But to Israel and Judah
    he will be a stone that makes people stumble,
    a rock that makes them fall.
And for the people of Jerusalem
    he will be a trap and a snare.
15 Many will stumble and fall,
    never to rise again.
    They will be snared and captured.”

16 Preserve the teaching of God;
    entrust his instructions to those who follow me.
17 I will wait for the Lord,
    who has turned away from the descendants of Jacob.
    I will put my hope in him.


I have had countless conversations with students over the years of what it means to "fear the Lord." But I think this passage begins to capture it. It is an issue of whom we give power to ~ someone utterly trustworthy, or someone who seeks to destroy us? Fear can be positive, believe it or not, according to whom we fear.

I do not mean to oversimplify or trivialize. Fear can be a dreadful thing, and I know it well. But I am seeking to understand the reality of what it means to walk by faith and not by sight: to not look at immediate circumstances and to what I can see as the final answer. That is to think like everyone else does. Instead, I yearn to wait for the Lord... (and) put my hope in him. My fear becomes one of healthy respect and awe.

May we not be a people of anxious fear, but ones of sober reality who live anchored in the One who keeps us safe in the truest, most reliable and eternal way. If you continue to read in Isaiah (and I encourage you to do so) we find unbelievable promises. Here's the teaser, and with this I conclude; from Isaiah 9:2,


The people who walk in darkness
    will see a great light.

How to Prevent Burnout in Ministry

I was recently interviewed by CalledToYouthMinistry.com about thinking about and preparing for how to avoid burnout as the school year begins. The roundtable discussion is found here.

But I'll give my full responses below. I pray for any of you who read this and are in youth ministry and say, Slow and steady stays in the race. Give these disciplines a high priority. Just like the safety drill on the airplane tells you to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others, it's crucial to maintain persistent self-care in order to be truly available to others.

Here goes!


"Don't Burnout This Time Around - How to Prepare for a New Year of Ministry."

Questions:

A new year of ministry is ahead. It's exciting... and intimidating. How do you plan on dealing with burnout this year?

I have practiced 4 things that have sustained me very well. I suffered major burnout in my 3rd year of vocational ministry, nearly crashed out of ministry, and mentors helped learn how to apply these important habits to foster sustainable ministry:

• consistent (as in weekly) days off; 
• Sabbath-keeping (learning how the Bible and church history understands it); 
• scheduled vacations that focused on rest and recreation, not just exhausting adventure.
• keeping track of how many weekends I am expected or asked to be gone, and saying no to things so that I am not gone more than one weekend per month.

What situations tend to really make you feel burned out? How do you deal with them?

I am burned out mostly by three things:

1. running events, which require the management of loads of details, demand constant flexibility and adaptability, and run the risk of being amazingly successful or dreadfully horrible! I know how to run events rather well, but did not realize that so many plates spinning at once create a great deal of stress for me. If I'm not careful to allow some margin between events, I rapidly lose steam and become short-tempered and quite unpleasant.

2. camp, which is just about the most effective tool we have in youth ministry, but absolutely exhausts me now that I'm older (I'm 51). As I got older, I realized I just needed more boundaries in my work with students. In other words, I needed more personal space to sleep well and recuperate from the never-ending line-up of activities, conversations, lousy food, dirt and dust, and spiritual intensity. After the age of 40 I worked with the camps to allow for me to stay in a room by myself. The leaders, all much younger by and large, were very supportive and understanding. Having a separate room allowed for me to have meetings with leaders and offered a space for them to get some rest as well.

3. crisis and conflict, which are obviously draining. I have found that these events sometimes come in clusters, and cumulatively create a massive need for recovery as I seek to be available to students, families, friends, etc.

To really stay refreshed, our walk with the Lord needs to stay healthy. What advice would you give the youth leader that's dealing with burnout to keep their foundation strong?

I think that my response to the first question mostly addresses this one too. However, I would add that huge chunk of the problem is due to a lack of clarity in regard to job descriptions and time management. Most youth workers lack clear expectations in terms of what there job actually is, and even if they have a realistic job description, this information is not shared with parents, who then place their own uninformed demands on the youth ministry. Furthermore, I have found that the majority of those in vocational ministry (not just youth pastors, but senior pastors are equally guilty) do a terrible job of managing their time well. They are reactive and crisis-orientated, giving in to the "tyranny of the urgent," rather than focusing on healthy, proactive projects and priorities.

Yes

In the last year I have picked up the habit of using the One Year Bible Online to have regular devotions. I don't know about you, but I need a system to keep me moving forward.

If you and I were having lunch right now I'd share how each of today's readings kicked my butt. 2Kings 17 reminded me of how shallow we are and forgetful of the clarity of God's commands for our lives. Acts 20 was like a mental slide show... I had the privilege in 2005 of traveling through those towns mentioned: Troas, Assos, Ephesus, parts of Greece and ancient Macedonia. More importantly, I was reminded of how I memorized Acts 20:24 my first year out of college, wanting it to be my mission statement:

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Then I got to Psalm 148, and heard myself humming the worship song I learned years ago which was based on this psalm.

And then I started doing what I believe all the psalms encourage us to do... I kept going. Ben Patterson, Campus Pastor of Westmont College, taught a group of us years ago to use the psalms as templates for prayer. Read them, listen, read them again, then pray them. And then build on them, adding to what they say. As I learned from how liturgy is supposed to work, rather than use my circumstances to shape my worship, the reverse should be the case. The words I say, the prayers I pray, the songs I sing, shape my understanding of life and my circumstances.

It says in 2Corinthians 1:20,

For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.

So I encourage you to say yes to God and yes to your life through Psalm 148 today. Pray it, and build on it, praising Him in countless ways. He is good.

Psalm 148

1 Praise the Lord!


Praise the Lord from the heavens!
    Praise him from the skies!
2 Praise him, all his angels!
    Praise him, all the armies of heaven!
3 Praise him, sun and moon!
    Praise him, all you twinkling stars!
4 Praise him, skies above!
    Praise him, vapors high above the clouds!
5 Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
    for he issued his command, and they came into being.
6 He set them in place forever and ever.
    His decree will never be revoked.


7 Praise the Lord from the earth,
    you creatures of the ocean depths,
8 fire and hail, snow and clouds,
    wind and weather that obey him,
9 mountains and all hills,
    fruit trees and all cedars,
10 wild animals and all livestock,
    small scurrying animals and birds,
11 kings of the earth and all people,
    rulers and judges of the earth,
12 young men and young women,
    old men and children.


13 Let them all praise the name of the Lord.
    For his name is very great;
    his glory towers over the earth and heaven!
14 He has made his people strong,
    honoring his faithful ones—
    the people of Israel who are close to him.


Praise the Lord!


Praise the Lord for the lovely friends in my life, and my church family.
Praise the Lord for the meaning and beauty and joy I experience nearly every day in the work I get to do.
Praise him for the capacity to exercise and enjoy his creation, the mind to read and learn, the good food on my table, my warm and comfortable bed, the roof over my head, the birds singing outside my window each morning.
His name is stupendously great, and I praise him for making himself known to me and to us. YES!

Humiliation

So much for my vacation goal of getting back to writing on my blog... but I will not beat myself up. I will simply write a post!

I just came across this quote, and it clanged like a loud bell through my whole being:

Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification; and as without this, without holiness, no man shall see God, though he pore whole nights upon his Bible; so without that, without humility, no man shall hear God speak to his soul, though he hear three two-hours' sermons every day.   ... John Donne (1573-1631)

First it should be said that I love John Donne as the eternal English major that I am. I have distinct memories of encountering Donne's poetry in my first English lit survey course as a college freshman. Finally my tastes had matured beyond the Footprints poems, and I understood the beauty of works like these from his Holy Sonnet XIV:

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you

As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;

That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,

Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;

Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me. 

Donne, as described in Wikipedia, was a "poet, satirist, lawyer and Protestant priest." How could you not love such an eclectic man?! But his verse is what captured my attention... I loved how his poems covered so many different topics, ranging from worship to lust to grief to love. He seemed more real to me in that way. (If you still are bored at the mere mention of poetry, just quickly read through perhaps his most famous poem, that one titled No Man is an Island. The last lines still take my breath away.)

But I digress. The first words I mentioned here, those related to humiliation, taught me so much this morning in so few words. 

We misunderstand, in 2012, what it truly means to be "humiliated." In our media-saturated culture full of "gotcha" photos and headlines, the word "humiliation" probably makes us immediately think of Watergate, Monica Lewinsky, Michael Jackson's child abuse charges, Lindsay Lohan's multiple arrests,  too many embarrassing moments on reality TV, and televangelists caught in duplicitous situations. Humiliation is all about getting caught (proverbially or literally) with your pants down, degraded and revealed in all your weakness. And we somehow enjoy seeing that happen to someone else... perhaps because it takes the attention off of our own weaknesses and foibles?

In reality, to be humiliated is to not worry more about your reputation than the state of your soul. In other words, humiliation is a choice. It says, "I don't care what you think of me. Instead, I seek to be someone of true character and integrity. I want my actions and convictions to line up. I will hold to my ethics and values, regardless of the personal cost."

With that in mind, Jesus is the ultimate example of humiliation, right? In dying on the cross, the ultimate sign of humiliation and degradation in the Roman Empire, he was willing to suffer the vulgar hatred and misunderstanding and lies that rained down on him because he knew that his atonement best expressed and enacted the profound love and forgiveness of God.

So what does that mean for me? How can I "humiliate" myself? If you surf around the net for "humility" and "humiliation," you might land on this site. It says there that to be humble and be humiliated is to:

• love
• put others first
• be willing to take last place
• forgive
• be willing to forgo personal rights
• be willing to be mocked

Ah, now it gets personal. My daily interactions with friends, co-workers, clients, family, the people I meet at Trader Joe's, the drivers that cut me off when I'm riding my bike... Ouch. This is impossible on my own. Only thru the Spirit's work and presence in me am I able to do this, even occasionally.

When I took Biblical Greek in seminary, I learned that the classic verse about humility, 1Peter 5:6-7, is written in the passive tense. What that means is that "Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God" is better translated as "Be humbled under the mighty power of God." Such a difference, eh? 

Practically speaking, perhaps Henri Nouwen puts it best:

Courage is connected with taking risks.  Jumping the Grand Canyon on a motorbike, coming over Niagara Falls in a barrel, or crossing the ocean in a rowboat are called courageous acts because people risk their lives by doing these things.  But none of these daredevil acts comes from the centre of our being.  They all come from the desire to test our physical limits and to become famous and popular.   Spiritual courage is something completely different.  It is following the deepest desires of our hearts at the risk of losing fame and popularity.  It asks of us the willingness to lose our temporal lives in order to gain eternal life.

The summer blockbuster movie for kids this summer is Brave. I haven't seen it, but if the popularity of movies like Hunger Games is any indication, I believe that our world hungers for true bravery... and maybe even humiliation?

Grand Teton reading #3

I won't be able to blog much about this one. The things it touches on are too much to share. But I cannot recommend it enough. It is a simple-looking book ~ big print, wide margins, short chapters. But it cuts to the heart in profoundly convicting ways.

Nouwen addresses our deep needs for solitude, silence, and prayer. Here are the reasons:

Our society is not a community radiant with the love of Christ, but a dangerous network of domination and manipulation in which we can easily get entangled and lose our soul. The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people's fatal state and have lost the power and motivation to swim for our lives.

He then calls out our great sin: our compulsive need to maintain a false self. In other words, "what matters in how I am perceived by my world." He then goes on to show how Jesus faced these things in his 40 days in the desert, where he was confronted with three sins of the false self:

1. To be relevant (turn stones into bread)
2. To be spectacular (throw yourself down from a great height)
3. To be powerful (I will give you all these kingdoms)

Obviously, the irony of writing about all of this on a blog, for the world to see, is not lost on me. Again, I won't be airing my laundry here. I am simply reminded that the goal of solitude is not privacy, but transformation. As Nouwen says, in solitude we struggle "to die to the false self" by having our scaffolding (friends, calls to make, meetings to attend, emails to answer, etc) removed. Rather, we bring ourselves (vulnerable, sinful, weak) to the feet of Christ.

The wisdom of the desert is that the confrontation with our own frightening nothingness forces us to surrender ourselves totally and unconditionally to the Lord Jesus Christ.

It is here then that Spirit-filled compassion takes hold, and from which ministry can then emerge (see Matthew 4 for how it unfolds in the life of Jesus.)

I'll end with Nouwen's words:

It is in this solitude that we become compassionate people, deeply aware of our solidarity in brokenness with all of humanity and ready to reach out to anyone in need.

Come Soon

On the second Sunday of Advent, these readings prepare my heart for gathered worship this morning, and help me to enter the season more attentively:

From Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

Advent is a time of waiting.

Our whole life, however, is Advent--that is, a time of waiting for the ultimate, for the time when there will be a new heaven and a new earth, when all people are brothers and sisters and one rejoices in the words of the angels: "On earth peace to those on whom God's favor rests."

Learn to wait, because he has promised to come. "I stand at the door..." We however call to him: "Yes, come soon, Lord Jesus!"

From Henri Nouwen:

"A shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him . . ." (Isa.11:1-2).

These words from last night's liturgy have stayed with me during the day. Our salvation comes from something small, tender, and vulnerable, something hardly noticeable. God, who is the Creator of the Universe, comes to us in smallness, weakness, and hiddenness.

I find this a hopeful message. Somehow, I keep expecting loud and impressive events to convince me and others of God's saving power; but over and over again I am reminded that spectacles, power plays, and big events are the ways of the world. Our temptation is to be distracted by them and made blind to the "shoot that shall sprout from the stump."

When I have no eyes for the small signs of God's presence - the smile of a baby, the carefree play of children, the words of encouragement and gestures of love offered by friends - I will always remain tempted to despair.

The small child of Bethlehem, the unknown young man of Nazareth, the rejected preacher, the naked man on the cross, he asks for my full attention. The work of our salvation takes place in the midst of a world that continues to shout, scream, and overwhelm us with its claims and promises. But the promise is hidden in the shoot that sprouts from the stump, a shoot that hardly anyone notices.

1John 4:15-16

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

As I have often taught to students, God not only loves us... He IS love. He is the source, definition, and embodiment of love. All love comes from him. To know him is to be changed.

I wait patiently, Lord Jesus, yet I yearn so deeply for you to come. During this Advent season, the beginning of our new year, I want to "rely on the love God has for us" and nothing else. I will seek to live life to the fullest every day, not because I think I somehow deserve it, but because I want to be a good steward of the life you have given to me. Thank you for your manna, Lord. You are endlessly generous and good. You are love.