Proclaim and Persist

Yesterday was a good time of reflection for me. In my internships course at Westmont College, I brought in two guests who shared their "calling stories" -- the ways in which they sensed that God had directed them into live out lives of service and ministry. I think all too often, we as Christians assume that only if we are struck blind on a road to Damascus or hear a voice from heaven that we are "called." I wanted my class to hear from two faithful leaders, who really just put one foot in front of the other in obedience and lived fruitful lives. We are all called to this.

Naturally, as I listened to these wise and gifted friends, I thought about my own process. One of the speakers shared that we are just like Abraham, who never really knew where he was headed, but went on a "journey by stages," discovering God's call on his life bit by bit, year by year, place by place.

I confirm this insight. I never fail to be surprised at where God has taken me, and what opportunities he brings.

In the last week I have had a wonderful array of "past, present, and future" encounters that reminded me of the array of those opportunities. I heard from former students, now approaching 40, with children and ministries of their own, thanking me for our times together. I sat on a council with a wide variety of gifted church leaders, all reflecting on the past and looking into what it will take to live into God's vision for the kingdom. I worshiped and learned with a room full of Latino pastors and leaders, considering the missional opportunities that await us in the 21st century, especially in Southern California. I met with several students individually and talked over the highs and lows of faith and dating and decision-making, secretly smiling over the several hundred times I have had these conversations with students since 1982... and last but not least, I played with a park full of children on the Westside, juggling a plate full of delicious tacos while avoiding soccer balls as they flew through the air, rejoicing at the missional community that is growing among a group of us.

Today's reading took me into 2Timothy 4, where the Apostle Paul is passing the torch of ministry and leadership onto Timothy. While I do not feel like I'm at the end of my journey, this passage does give me great things to ponder as I continue on my "journey by stages":

In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I solemnly urge you: proclaim the message; be persistent whether the time is favorable or unfavorable; convince, rebuke, and encourage, with the utmost patience in teaching. For the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own desires, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander away to myths. As for you, always be sober, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, carry out your ministry fully.

As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (verses 1-8)

Paul's imperatives stand out to me most:

     "proclaim"

     "persist"

     "convince"

     "rebuke"

     "encourage"

I take each of these to heart, and want to remember to continue in them "whether the time is favorable or unfavorable." To pursue them all requires a combination of assertiveness and sensitivity, where I am both "wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove" (Matthew 10:16). Only the Spirit's work in us can manage that delicate tension.

Think about your own journey by stages. Rejoice in how each step brings you closer to God and shapes you ever so slightly. May we each persevere as fight the good fight, finish the race and keep the faith.

Thread

It feels so good to sit still and breathe deep after a week packed-full. Due to scheduling, these past few days (since the evening of January 25) have been non-stop with a mission conference, interviews for Summer 2013 intern candidates, and continued work on the Wesleyan Theology training course for leaders. And wherever I could I would squeeze in time for studying my class on the Torah.

Throughout these events I detected a thread that wove through them all. Throughout the Santa Barbara Mission Conference we were blessed by multiple speakers, and the one who rocked my world the most was Brenda Salter-McNeil. I had heard her speak before at Urbana 06 and Urbana 09, but getting to know her a bit and hear from her up close and personal at this conference was incredible.

I cannot begin to encapsulate all that she said, but she spoke prophetically from Isaiah 6 and 11 about "stump ministry." After all these years, I think I have tasted of what it means to get whittled down to a measly stump. I was reminded in new ways that God sides with the broken-hearted. We must cling to Him as we wait for a future we cannot see.

That would have been enough to feast on, but slowly I saw the thread emerge. I went to hear Brenda speak at Westmont Chapel on Monday, January 28, and she taught powerfully on the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10. She called us out as we heard the oft-told story in new ways. She helped me to see how I have been the priest and the Levite, who crossed to the other side of the road to avoid the mess of the man beaten by bandits, more than the Samaritan. In the same way that we walk past trash on the ground, we walk past the "mess" around us, thinking someone else will deal with it. As God has sided with me in my broken-heartedness, I am called to sit with others in theirs. Ouch.

In my reading for the Torah class, we have actually spent these first four weeks on Genesis 1-11. Given that we need to study the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures, you would think we would get going! But this has been time well spent. This week I read through the tragedy of Cain and Abel in Genesis 4, and saw things I had never seen before. Naturally I have been troubled by the strangeness of this story -- why does God prefer Abel's offering to Cain's? In the past I have thought about it, then shrugged my shoulders and given up. But as one of our texts tells us, God has a "penchant for what is not highly regarded." She goes on to break down the Hebrew meaning of the name Abel and Cain. "Abel" apparently points to "what is lacking in worth" and "Cain" is "connected with productivity, with creation and acquisition." In other words, Abel denotes "worthless," but then we are told "the entire Bible shows a God who is on the side of the 'Abels'." Later she says that God has a "preference for what is weak and not able to protect itself." 

WOW. In the past, when students and I have discussed scripture and the repeated instances of God working through the unlikely (David, Samuel, Mary, Paul, to name a few) I have always repeated what I have been taught: that God prefers to use the unlikely because then the evidence is clear that he is at work, and the results are not due to the natural abilities of the person in the story.

I won't say that I have been wrong, but this really is only half the tale. God is powerful and sovereign, but I know that he is not an egotistical tyrant who wants to make sure we know who is in charge. He is a God of mercy, grace and unending love. And as we receive such gifts, we are transformed by such tender and amazing love.

Then, we are called. As the textbook continues, "God's penchant for what is weak and 'worthless' must be imitated by the ones who walk in God's ways." Will I walk past the suffering around me, or will I allow it to make my own life messy?

I can't say that I reached the end of the thread this morning, but in my reading I came upon Psalm 27, and things felt clear:


1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
    so why should I tremble? 

2 When evil people come to devour me,    
when my enemies and foes attack me,    
they will stumble and fall.

3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,    
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
    I will remain confident.

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—    
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,    
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.

May we all live much more by faith than by fear. May we take risks and love others in the same ways we have been loved by the insanely foolish and persistent love of God.

Fall Updates 2012: Day Seven

Last night a group of us who meet every Tuesday night for Bible study and fellowship did what we normally do on the last Tuesday of every month: we do laundry with friends who live on the streets. It was started at a laundromat nearby by a friend of mine who called it Laundry Love. (I know there are other Laundry Loves in Santa Barbara, but we are only connected in spirit).

We arrive around 5pm with a Costco-sized tub of laundry detergent and an old pasta jar full of quarters.  As we plug quarters into the washers and dryers, we hang out and visit with our friends. Once the stuff is in the dryers, we serve up about 6 large Domino's pizzas, which we purchase through a generous deal with the owner next door.

I need to be honest and say that when we started doing this about eighteen months ago that I had to really rev myself up every time to do it. It's a very meaningful thing to do, but that doesn't make it easy. Making conversation with people who are living with some major challenges -- be they financial, medical, mental, chemical or social -- is not always easy.

But after all these months, something clicked for me last night. It was... lovely. Conversation came naturally, names were known and said, genuine affection was shared, and we laughed as we lamented the troubles of life together. One of our key couples was not there last night because they had taken a trip to New York City which was very much derailed by Hurricane Sandy. The regulars heard about this and had a bunch of questions for us. One of them said as we were leaving, "Please make sure they know that we are all praying for them here." I nodded, and thought to myself, if anyone knows the challenges that weather and hardship can bring, it is these people. Their prayers will be heartfelt, for sure.

I prayed about our time together with our friends this morning, and I read these two things:

Like every human organization the Church is constantly in danger of corruption.  As soon as power and wealth come to the Church, manipulation, exploitation, misuse of influence, and outright corruption are not far away.

How do we prevent corruption in the Church? The answer is clear:  by focusing on the poor.  The poor make the Church faithful to its vocation.  When the Church is no longer a church for the poor, it loses its spiritual identity.  It gets caught up in disagreements, jealousy, power games, and pettiness.  Paul says,  "God has composed the body so that greater dignity is given to the parts which were without it, and so that there may not be disagreements inside the body but each part may be equally concerned for all the others" (1 Corinthians 12:24-25).  This is the true vision.  The poor are given to the Church so that the Church as the body of Christ can be and remain a place of mutual concern, love, and peace. (Henri Nouwen)

Psalm 103

1 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
    with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
    may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
    and heals all my diseases.
4 He redeems me from death
    and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
5 He fills my life with good things.
    My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

I have learned so much not just by serving but by knowing the poor. They are not "bums" or "hobos"... they are people with names who are made in the image of God. He knows the number of hairs on their heads.

I heard this verse taught on years ago by a man I greatly admire, Bob Mitchell, the former president of Young Life. I take it seriously, and will end with it:

Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor
    will be ignored in their own time of need. (Proverbs 21:13)

Slow

I had a you-can't-make-this-up moment tonight.

My bible study goes out to Isla Vista, a student community next to UC Santa Barbara, once a month. We join our friend Ryan, who has been faithfully doing the laundry of homeless folks out there on the last Tuesday of every month. He calls it Laundry Love. We usually end up washing sleeping bags and many loads of laundry. Ryan has also negotiated a great deal with the Domino's manager next door, and gets a break on pizzas and soda for all the friends there. They get to do their laundry, eat some food and we hang out with them, building relationships through low-key conversation. I'm not gonna lie -- it takes some real self-discipline to get myself there sometimes. There are some tough conversations at times, with folks who are sometimes really at the bottom. Tonight I talked with a woman with 4 children who just cannot take care of them. Another woman simply cannot kick her alcohol addiction. Another man was so absolutely gone mentally it was difficult to watch and I can only wonder how he lives each day.

Tonight, as I stood chatting with someone, a man came up to me. He paused, stared at me, and then burst out, "You used to work at a house on Chino, right?" My eyes went wide. It took me a few moments to gather my thoughts, and then thought, yeah, when I worked for Young Life we had our office in a house behind Calvary Baptist Church, on Pedregosa and Chino. I left Young Life in 1995... so we're talking 15-20 years ago. I said, "Yes, I did. At the Young Life house."

And he said, "You're Kelly. You look exactly the same. I tell my girlfriend about you sometimes. Do you remember me?"

I paused, and thought, heck, I need to be honest. I did not recognize him. But to be easy on myself, in these past 30 years, I would guess I have know many hundreds of kids. But he fixed his eyes on me, and told me many stories of hanging out at the house and going to Wild Life, that is, before he got into a lot of trouble.

For the sake of his privacy, I won't mention the details shared. But he has lived quite a life. He has 4 kids now, and seems to be slowly rebuilding. I visited with him for quite awhile, met his girlfriend and 5 year old son, invited him to church. I really hope he comes. We hugged when I left... I gave a side hug, which is my usual when I am just meeting someone or catching up -- I don't want to overwhelm them. But he swung his other arm around and gave me a tight hug. I rubbed his shaved head and told him how happy I was to see him.

As my day is winding down I pick up my Bible, and read through today's reading in 2 Peter 3. Could it be more appropriate?

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

I was reminded again that staying in one place is such a powerful thing. We all have our own journeys, but if it is possible for you, I truly recommend staying in one place for the duration. I cannot believe how many amazing things I have seen by being here to see the fruit of seeds planted years before, and to be available to water them at times when they needed a little TLC. More importantly, I was humbled as I tried to imagine how hard it must be for the Lord to wait as we get lost the way my friend did for so many years.

Lord you are good. Thank you that you are not slow in keeping your promise. These verses, used in a worship song, are humming in my head as I think about tonight:

Psalm 36:5 Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.

6 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.

7 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!

People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

8 They feast on the abundance of your house;

you give them drink from your river of delights.

9 For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.

Do Not Move

As someone who moved not once but twice in kindergarten, then again after first grade, second grade and fifth grade, I vowed that I would live in one place as an adult.

I have had the very good fortune of being able to do that. I moved to Santa Barbara in 1979 to go to college, and have never moved since then. Thirty-two years in one place is a wonderful thing. I recognize it is an enormous gift, one that so many will not have the option to have.

But I also think that in our fast-paced, hyper-mobile culture, we don't really even value such stability any more. But some of the reading I've been doing lately is really challenging me to keep exploring the implications of stability. Many of us believe that in traveling we are able to embark on a journey that helps us discover ourselves, and hopefully God as well. But what is becoming more and more clear to me is that stability has allowed me to be on an inner journey instead, going deeper and deeper over the years into intimacy with God. As Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove says in The Wisdom of Stability, "I love the idea that the stability we are made for helps us establish 'roots of love,' binding us intimately to our landscape and the people who share life on it." Such 'roots of love' help me to tap more steadily into the Spirit too, who in turn teaches me to love others generously and persistently. While I have grown much over the years, I still have so very far to go!

These things have been turning over in my head, so as I read this quote last night, it spoke to these ongoing musings on staying in one place:

Somebody asked Abba Antony (St. Antony the Great of Egypt), “What shall I do in order to please God?”

He replied, “Do what I tell you, which is this: wherever you go, keep God in mind; whatever you do, follow the example of Holy Scripture; wherever you are, stay there and do not move away in a hurry. If you keep to these guide-lines, you will be saved.”

Chew on that.

The God-Life

In my reading this morning:

We do what we do in life, even holy things... not because we are so good but because God is so good and enables us to rise above the misery of ourselves. Even the spiritual life can become an arrogant trap if we do not realize that the spiritual life is not a game that is won by the development of spiritual skills. The spiritual life is simply the God-life already at work in us. (Joan Chittister)

Not to us, O LORD, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness. (Psalm 115:1)

Featured Article - YAY

I'm grateful for YM Today, who is featuring one of my articles in their newsletter this week. YMToday is produced by the Center for Youth Ministry Training, which partners with Memphis Seminary.

The best part is that THEY contacted me for my articles. I have had to pound the pavement pretty hard these past few months to get my writing looked at, so it was pretty cool when they found me. I like that better :)

On another note, yesterday I started back officially at Providence Hall High School as the Campus Pastor. This week the faculty and staff are having in-service meetings all week. Our new student orientation is this Friday, our Back-to-School BBQ for the entire Providence Hall community is this Saturday, and Convocation is next Tuesday, Sept. 1.

So my "new life" juggling several ministry projects is in full swing. I'm grateful and very excited. Thank you to each of you for your care, interest, prayers and support. It's been sweet to hear already from several recent youth group graduates as they get going in college, and also from some of the current Providence Hall students as I prepare to be with them weekly again. I have a great life!

Article Published on "Two Whom"

Another article related to youth ministry has been posted online with Fuller Youth Institute (FYI), an excellent research institution connected to Fuller Seminary, its School of Theology and their program in Youth, Family & Culture. I met with the Executive Director Kara Powell last month to talk through future projects we might work on together, and she asked if they could post my story about our "Two Whom" project.

I care about the Two Whom event because it was my best attempt to help students learn how to live out their faith in the midst of their everyday life. Kara and I really connected on a passion of FYI -- to work with students in understanding "deeper justice" issues. In other words, when we take that summer missions trip to Tijuana or Costa Rica or the inner city, it's easy to dive in and work with the poor when that is all that we are doing. We have both found that students are energized to serve and sacrifice for the next few days or weeks after such an experience, but that it is difficult for them to sustain that commitment because the trip was so... "other."

Two Whom was a step forward because it asked students to grapple with poverty, injustice and our faith right in their world -- heck, right in their kitchen! May we keep seeing ways to live out kingdom values in our lives and relationships, bringing grace, justice, humility, love and peace to those we see daily.