God can handle this -- silence and sadness, that is. He would rather we come to him in tears, in anger, with shaking fists, than have us wander away, shut down and closed off. The Garden of Gethsemane is a painting of such profound horror and fear.
When it feels this way, I often look for a hymn - one that can speak for me and tease out the words held captive inside. The psalms do that too.
Last night I bought a 2-CD set of Fernando Ortega singing hymns (nice and cheap - $5.49 on Amazon). They make the dark, twisty feelings sound better...
This one works for today.
I need Thee every hour,
Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine,
Can peace afford.
I need Thee, O I need Thee,
Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, Savior,
I come to Thee.
I need Thee every hour,
Stay Thou near by;
Temptations lose their power,
When Thou art nigh.
I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.
I need Thee every hour,
In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide,
Or life is vain.
I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.
I, too, love Fernando Ortega when I'm sad. I love how you said the hymns "make the dark, twisty feelings sound better." So true. I said a prayer for you, Kelly!
ReplyDeletesoif,
ReplyDeletethinking of you and the birch's...
love,
sirica